What’s your joy?

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. – Carol Burnett

Just back from a simple gathering with a university friend. We’ve known each other for almost 13 years, from the very first day when we stepped into NTU.

Time passed by rather very quickly.

We’ve been in Singapore for almost 13 years.
We’ve been working for almost 9 years.

My friend said: “I was in the shower after gym one day. As the water ran down, I was thinking, ‘What has happened to my life all these years? What did I achieve? What do I have joy in doing?’

We took things for granted. When life is comfortable, we started cruising in our lives. We stopped learning. And we stopped taking risk. We stopped breaking through our comfort zone.

We aimed for easy, instead of growth. We aimed for comfort, instead of potential. We aimed for security, instead of abundance.

When we start to live our lives on auto-pilot, it is time that we stop living. It is time when we started drifting backwards. It is time where nothing is memorable anymore.

What’s the biggest regret of people? It is not the television drama that they missed out. Or the latest smartphone that they didn’t buy.

It was on the opportunity that they didn’t take. It was on the experience they didn’t dare to chase. It was on the love they are afraid to fall on.

Life is short, regardless of how you want to think otherwise. It is this mortality that stops us on the track, and to think, “What is really important for me?

What is important for you?

Meng

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Dream Collage

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. – Harriet Tubman

Robin Sharma talks about building your dream collage.

To most of us, we know it as our vision board.

What is this dream collage?

It is basically everything about your dream. What do you want to achieve?

It could be your dream car.
It could be your dream house.
It could be your dream vacation.

It doesn’t have to be about materialism only.

It could be your dream spouse.
It could be your dream weight.
It could be your dream of giving back to society.

A human’s mind works best through visual. That is how vision boards, or dream collage, work.

Put pictures of your dream car there.
Put pictures of your dream house there.
Put pictures of your dream vacation there.

Our mind only works 5% consciously. 95% works subconsciously.

And this is how we train our mind to look for. Through the dream collage. To condition our mind to focus upon what should we focus on.

What would be your dream collage?

Meng

Reframe

A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success. – Joyce Brothers

What is your outlook in life? Mainly positive? Or generally negative?

Assuming you got retrenched at work. Or you failed in your exam. Or you lost your money in the stocks market.

Do you self-blame? Do you blame others? Do you drown yourself in sorrow?

Or do you think about corrective action? Do you choose plan B? Do you do things differently, to try new things?

Your point of view doesn’t change the reality, whether you are being positive or negative.

It affects how you cope with life. If you are positive, it helps in how you are coping with the challenges in life. If you are negative, it only makes things harder.

Success in life is based on good judgment. And good judgment comes from experience. And experience is the result of bad judgment. Don’t be afraid. Just follow through on what your heart desires.

Meng

Purpose Driven Activities

The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others. – Albert Schweitzer

Have you ever been to gatherings only to find it boring? Mindless talking about non-sensical stuff? And sometimes ended in a fight?

What if you could do better? What if you could orient it to the outcome that you want?

It all begins with the end in mind.

What is it that you want to achieve? What is your end goal?

Taking the gathering as an example.

Do you want it to be a happy gathering? Do you want to have the time of your life?

Do you want it to be exhilarating? Like a roller-coaster?

Do you want it as an avenue to catch up on each other’s life? To talk about the recent activities?

Make it  a habit of doing things with a purpose. Have an end goal.

It doesn’t mean that you are being unethical. As if you are going out with a friend, just because there is an advantage for you.

No, it doesn’t work that way.

Having a purpose doesn’t mean you are all-in for benefits that you are going to reap all by yourself. Having a purpose means to spend the time meaningful. To make the full use of the activities that you are doing, at that very moment of time.

By knowing what you want, you can change the flow of the gathering. And you can change the outcome from it.

Have a purpose of what is it that you want to achieve.

Meng

10 Things You Should Never Say to Depressed People

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. – Ronald Reagan

Read the post with the same title at BrightSide.

They told you what NOT to say to depressed people.

They also let you know what you SHOULD be saying instead.

Basically, there are three portions.

First,  be empathic. Let them know that you understand what they are going through.

Second, take things one step at a time. Not to rush things through. Not to sweep them under the carpet. But to deal with it one task at a time.

Third, let them know that you are there with them. They don’t have to deal with it alone. You can be there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear.

Depression is a serious matter. Help them whenever you could. You could be saving a life.

Meng

 

42race

Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind. – Bryant H. McGill

My colleagues and I finally resumed our lunchtime jogging session. Which was halted due to the haze in late 2015. Wow, that was like more than 1 year ago.

Anyway, a friend of mine shared his recent accomplishment in a virtual race.

Hosted by 42race.com, it pits the runner to run virtual race. At his/her own pace, own time.

So long as you complete the required distance within 21 days, you would get a finisher medal.

It is an interesting concept. It takes 21 days to form a new habit. That’s the basis of the organizers .

If you are interested in running, you may want to check it out.

Meng

Momentum

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. – Michael Korda

You had a great start. You started the race with a bang! You felt great. You thought you would conquer the world.

But then things happen. Things started to act against you. You weren’t feeling well. The weather wasn’t feeling well. There was something going on.  You had some difficulties.

And days turned to weeks. And weeks turned to months.

And before you knew it, you had stopped doing it.

To form a new habit, you have to keep on doing it. However, how would you persist if you stopped doing the very thing that is necessary for success?

Stay calm. Don’t take things too seriously. It is OK to fail. It is OK to stop. All you need to do is to pick yourself up again.

Celebrate. Create milestones. Congratulate yourself once you have achieved certain mini goals. It is important to give yourself positive reinforcement.

Get peer support. No man is destined to be an island. Your journey need not to be lonely.  We strive better with supportive friends.

Don’t make it a habit to stop. Stopping for a day is fine, but never two days in a row. When you stop for three days, you have to pick it up immediately. The longer you delay on resuming your activities, the harder it is. It feels like the whole world is against you. Pick yourself up immediately whenever you feel like you are left behind.

It is not the end of the world if you would ever fall behind. It is the end of the world if you are to give up on yourself, to give up on your dreams, to give up on your aspirations.

Keep the momentum going.

Meng

failures are stepping stones in life, stand on your feet once again