Tag Archives: empathy

10 Things You Should Never Say to Depressed People

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. – Ronald Reagan

Read the post with the same title at BrightSide.

They told you what NOT to say to depressed people.

They also let you know what you SHOULD be saying instead.

Basically, there are three portions.

First,  be empathic. Let them know that you understand what they are going through.

Second, take things one step at a time. Not to rush things through. Not to sweep them under the carpet. But to deal with it one task at a time.

Third, let them know that you are there with them. They don’t have to deal with it alone. You can be there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear.

Depression is a serious matter. Help them whenever you could. You could be saving a life.





There’s a beauty to wisdom and experience that cannot be faked. It’s impossible to be mature without having lived. – Amy Grant

My girlfriend says I’m immature. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a good kid. A good guy who abides the law and doing the moral and ethical stuff. And yet, it doesn’t mean that I am matured.

Age doesn’t come with maturity. Have you noticed how certain young kids are much more matured, way ahead of their age? And while certain old folks who are selfish and immature?

There are three aspects to maturity, so let’s jump in.

First. Responsibility. One has to be responsible in his action if he wants to be matured. Every action has to accounted for. Matured people would think through all the alternatives before taking an action, considering the impact of his actions. Is it the best choice of action to be taken?

Second. Sense of purpose. A matured person has a strong sense of purpose. What is his purpose in life? What is the reason of him being alive? Time on Earth is short. If one lacks purpose, he would waste his time. If he knows his purpose and chooses not to pursue it, he is not matured. Worse, he is timid.

Third. Empathy. A matured person would tune into other people’s emotion. To understand their needs and wants. Do you need to voice out your insensitive comments? Are there a better way to communicate your differences? Do they need to hear about your sarcasm?

And as an added bonus, self esteem. One has to love oneself before he or she can love another person. To be matured, one has to start from within.

Age doesn’t come with maturity. Just like any other skills in life, maturity is something we can learn, if only we put in the effort. We can achieve it with deliberate practice.

What would you do today to make yourself more matured?



7 Lessons from This Year’s Oscar Nominated Movies

Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing. – Euripides

Saw an article by Entrepreneur on lessons learnt from Oscar-nominated movies.

Movies do inspire us. They teach us to be resilient. To be strong. To stand up for what is right. To chase after our dreams.

It’s not about what we can do individually. It’s about team-work. It’s about cooperation. It’s about synergy, creating a better world together.

It’s about empathy. To understand how others feel. To communicate effectively. To show our love.

It’s about the impermanence of time. But an everlasting legacy. Material wealth doesn’t last. Wealth in spiritual and love does.

It’s about getting your priorities right. And going all out to make them happen. Not to be distracted by other temptations or shiny objects along the way. Be focused of the things that you need to do.

At the end of the day, you have but one life. Make it count. Let it burn like a selfless candle, lighting up the dark room.

Movies are great way to inspire us, to teach us of values that we have long forgotten amidst the busyness of time.

What movies are you looking forward to? Take some time to watch movies that would inspire you.



The Big Technology Divide

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. – B.F. Skinner.

Technology  helps to bridge our communication. With a simple click on the mouse, we can find all the information on the Internet. With a phone call, we can connect to our friend on the other side of the globe. With an email, we can send picture instantaneously. Although this can be done with any instant messaging services too.

With technology, comes our downfall.  We always stare at our smartphone. We say hello to our colleagues through our office communication tools, even if he or she is just a few  footsteps away. We compose email rather than to talk on phone. Don’t even think on face to face communication.

My friend gently nudged me when I was browsing through facebook at my phone while he was talking. Ouch. That was disrespectful.

Time for a reality check.

How many of us are guilty of this? You don’t have to tell me, but it is good to think through about it.

Technology helps us if we use it intelligently.

Technology would also be a cause of our doom if we let it enslaves us.

We lost the skill to communicate. To talk. To listen. To empathize. To connect.

We lost the human touch. That is so important in building up the bonding and emotional support that we human crave for.

How much time do you spend on the technological gadgets? How much time do you spend offline? How can you do more to connect to your family and loved ones face to face?

Let’s disconnect to reconnect.



Group IQ

It takes a lot of people to make a winning team. Everybody’s contribution is important. – Gary David Goldberg

Daniel Goleman discussed briefly on Group IQ. Which I found rather funny, after I read some gossips on some interactions within a Whatsapp group. Yes, the time could be spent wisely elsewhere, but a little gossip won’t hurt, right?

Anyway, he mentions about the group IQ as being the sum of the talents.

The predictor is based not on the potential talents, but rather on the harmony relationship between the members.

It brings to mind a word very popularly used – synergy.

With synergy, you get more when you combine two or more heads together. One plus one is more than two.

In reality, with account to efficiency, one plus one could bring to a total of less than two. Considering the loss in the interactions – the bickering, the logistics, the differing ideas – how could we aim for a total of more than two? Or worse, how could we prevent an outcome that is negative, less than zero?

How could we harness the power of synergy?

The end goal. We must first and foremost, put the group’s total benefits ahead of our individual selfish gains. Widely seen in corporate world, a company’s benefits is usually put at the back burner, when each differing sections focus in maximizing their own P&L (profit and loss).

All ideas are good. Synergy is build upon ideas that we do not think on our own. We build upon each other’s. We further improve and improvise. Look on the bright side.

Encourage interactions. Simply respect each other’s point of view, what’s so tough to implement it? Empathize on your team member’s point of view. A voiced “half-baked” idea is always better than a silent “perfect” idea, for we can always improve upon the so-called “half-baked” ideas.

Continuous improvements. Just like kaizen,the ideas can be improved upon – day by day, little by little. Remember, the ideas are a means to achieve the goals that our team/group has set, not an end by itself.

Together, we can achieve higher IQ. How can you improve on your group IQ? What’s the principle that you use?