Tag Archives: anger

Anger Management

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you. – Joel Osteen

It is human to be angry. When things don’t go according to our ways. Or the ways things going on just aren’t our preferences.

It is human nature. But then, it doesn’t mean that we have the excuse to indulge in it.

I have my own shares of anger. I lost my temper countless of time. And I don’t offer excuses to it. Instead, I look back and reflect – how could I do better?

If you want to curb on your anger, read on.

Firstly, you must have awareness. You must be aware and catch yourself when you are angry. Determine the trigger points. Is it due to the smaller irritations, that you have been ignoring?

Reframe it. See things differently. There is no universal truth, only truths as you see it. It is just your perspective. The way you see the world shapes the way you act in it.

Meditate. Meditate, meditate, meditate. If you have been reading my blog posts, meditation is a big thing. It keeps you calm and grounded. Choose a mantra that best suits you. Or simply, just sit in silence and let your thoughts pass you by.

Pause. When blood boils up in your head, stop! Pause for a while. Take deep breaths. Don’t regret over actions taken when your mind couldn’t think clearly. Anger is a very strong emotion that would cloud your rational thinking. Stop and breathe. Stop and breathe.

Setting your priorities right. Do you want to be angry on your 4 year old kids over spilling the food on the floor? Do you want to be angry on your spouse for being late to dinner because he or she is finishing their work? Know your priorities. Do you value your family more? Or the ‘clean’ floor that needs cleaning daily?

Reflect. What happens? What triggered it? How did you react? How could you manage it better next time?

I won’t say I am a perfect person. I do feel anger daily. On myself, on others, on the traffic jams. But that is not an excuse to indulge in it.

Though being angry is a human’s valid emotion, it doesn’t mean we should not minimize it. We are in our journey in being a better human being. And in this journey, we should be kind to one another, to live in harmony, and to treat each other with love and respect.

How do you curb your anger? Be kind to others, and more importantly, be kind to yourself.

 

Meng

4 Steps to Stop Reacting

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. – Thomas Jefferson

I was reading a book the other day on start taking actions.

One of the topics discussed was on how to stop reacting. You know, about those daily incidents that you are frustrated with. And like a volcano eruption, you lashed out to anyone within your vicinity. It could be driving in a jam-packed highway. Or dealing with your cranky toddlers.

We all know that we need to respond and not react.

Theory sounds simple, but how do we do that?

Someone proposed a four step methodology.

First, stop doing. That’s right, you have thoughts running in your mind, telling you to do things “automatically”. Realise that these actions are not the optimal actions. That is why it is crucial to first stop doing anything. It is wiser┬áto risk being perceived to be staying stunned like an idiot, than to lash out and become a jerk.

Secondly, take a deep breath. Breathing is calming. Breathing is a main component in yoga. Just breathe. Breathe deeply. Notice how your diaphragm moves. Notice how your belly move. Take one, take two, take a couple more. Make sure you are taking your breaths slowly.

Thirdly, be aware of how you are feeling. Right now. What emotions are you having? Don’t make any rash actions when you are angry. We are creatures blessed with a gift of thinking. Use it wisely. Don’t let your emotions dictate you.

Finally, think of happy thoughts. Maybe it’s your spouse. Maybe it’s your children. Maybe it’s your winning in the local sports. Maybe it’s just chilling out in your last vacation. Whatever it is, just think back to happier thoughts. Be calm and serene. You can not be both happy and angry at the same time.

How would you incorporate these 4 simple steps in your life right now?

Meng